Archives for 2021

A bit of shade with a high percentage yield.

When you mix sunbathing with bonds and hedge funds, you get a cocktail.

Some get their cocktails at a beach bar.

Those who lose lots of money with the help of a stockbroker get their cocktails when they meet such a purveyor of stocks and bonds.

No free lunches!

The trend in chocolate and stereo.

Firstly, everything comes with chocolate now.

Second, stereo means little – in a rich multi-dimensional sense – to people under 38.5 years old.

You could say that there is no such trend now.

Watch out!

Let’s take those charts, shove them into an envelope with a gilded card and divide by the average speed of a corgi on a weekend all-vegetable retreat.

This formula would answer any question ever asked and because of it’s quaver-like stance, will likely answer any question that could ever be asked.

So we’re talking about the answers to questions about things, about ideas, about concepts, that have yet to be imagined or conceived.

Time for relaxed and devotedly concentrated contemplation.

Or, at least, a good bedtime story.

I started singing.

The audience rose to their feet.

The sounds of screaming, cheering, crying fans were music to my ears….get it!?

Sure enough, I was offered many “contracts”.

Not sure whether the audience was full of hit men or record executives.

Someone told me rather unkindly, that they were the same thing.

I had ice cream. A banana. A coffee and a toffee.

What a stroke of luck.

They gave us a free card. Well, it must be free as they didn’t charge anything.

Not so fast. The costs started from the moment we dialed the phone number.

We should have known as “1 800 I EAT YOU” sounds a bit, well, dodgy.

There is a difference between a gift horse (never look it in the mouth) and a Trojan Horse (never let it in).

So now we know.

Strange how “Know” is “Now” with a K in front….