I enjoy cooking. In fact I enjoy it so much that at times I am inspired to become a chef and cook for many.
I never use recipes. One exception is my Christmas turkey recipe. All other cooking sessions are inspired by the moment, the ingredients at hand and some sprinkling of experience.
I recommend you try doing more things “without a recipe”.
Do not be disheartened if you are writing recipe books, they still inspire and give ideas to free-form improv chefs like me!